At the start of the New Year, like many moms, I make a pledge to get healthy both physically and mentally. This means exercising, thinking positive thoughts, attending church, honoring my family, and (oh yes, the biggie) eating right.
It's amazing. I have been so good at the first four goals. I hit the treadmill 2 times a week (not as often as pre-baby, but more often than in 2007); I try to keep a positive attitude, I attend my wonderful and loving church; I spend time with my husband and daughter; and I eat healthy, home-cooked meals.
And here's where it gets complex. From 7 a.m. to 9 p.m. I eat like Dr. Sears himself: cottage cheese, fruit and sliced almonds for breakfast, salad with grilled chicken for lunch, and lean meats and roasted veggies for dinner. And lots and lots and lots of water. Oh yes, and vitamins and supplements. Then, around 9 p.m., I put the Kid to bed, toss a load of laundry in the washer, load up the dishwasher, and hit the couch with my laptop for work and television. And then it starts.
The minute (no, the second) my butt hits the couch, the need to eat overwhelms my brain and I raid the pantry. I crave chips and salsa, pretzels, popcorn, edamame, rice crackers, "puffy peas," or string cheese. And, depending on the time of the month, I'll toss in a little chocolate to go with that salt. And let's not forget the constant craving: red wine.
It is so frustrating that I am a dietary rock-star for 21 out of 24 hours a day. But when I reach the magic hours of Laptop Television -- from 9 p.m. to midnight where I sit on the couch trying to be a good employee and decent homemaker -- I feel the need to eat junk food. Why is that? Am I bored? Stressed? Confused? Overwhelmed?
I think I reached my low point last week when I was butt-on-couch, eating an entire bag of Almond M&Ms, and watching The Biggest Loser on TV. At that point, I decided that I am, in fact, the Biggest Loser.
I not-so-secretly want to talk to Biggest Loser hottie Trainer Bob for answers. In the meantime, can some fellow Moms offer some cyber-therapy and talk me out of raiding the pantry, and loading up on unnecessary and empty calories, at 10 p.m. each night?
This post can also be found on Silicon Valley Moms Blog, where I rant and rave about being a mom in the land of high technology and long commutes.